I’ve taken a hiatus from working with a fantastic art teacher because I’ve realized that I need a lot of practice to implement someone else’s teaching – as if my hands and body have to catch up with what my brain wants to do. I’m also realizing the importance of focus and why it can take time to achieve in art.
For example, I just took a spinning workshop from Jacey Boggs. I was back in “beginner” mode again, with my fingers fumbling and trying to learn new skills. I couldn’t be speedy spinner or work on auto-pilot. While it can be frustrating to produce clumsy work, the focus needed to perfect the work is refreshing. Writing almost demands that focus, and sometimes we have to learn to turn it down, just a bit, and let the words flow with doubt. It’s dangerous to create art without some sort of intention, even if you don’t know what you’re doing or where you’re going. The attention, the energy focus – that’s the key.
I’ve been editing my novel too much and wrung out some of the vital juices. I need to go back to just writing and not worry if I’ve taken a wrong turn, stuck in a nonsensical element, or just written something that’s just plain weird (which may end up being my best gift to the world after all). Editing can be a distraction from creation. It’s easier sometimes and it feels as if I’m accomplishing something…but I’m just taking up the same space over and over again.
If I’m not feeling well, any art form becomes very difficult, because focus is lost. The migraines that I’ve been grappling with are sapping my energy. Will medication help? I don’t know. But I need to do something to transform this pattern and move ahead.
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